That Sassy Frood

David Dixon as Ford Prefect

David Dixon as Ford Prefect in Episode One of the TV adaptation of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today’s Daily Prompt was “Interview your favorite(sic) fictional character.”

There are so many characters starting with Hamlet and going all the way through to Ender or Valentine Smith that picking a favourite is almost impossible. When I thought of a great interview subject then just one guy sprung to mind.

So Ford Prefect, given the mistake you made with the name and the problem you had leaving last time what brings you back to Earth?

Well, the beers good, the parties are excellent and the women have the right number of appendages. What’s not to like? I mean, OK, there’s that whole problem with the planet being destroyed but since Zaphod scored the Heart of Gold we just had to pick a time and space before that or where it didn’t happen, preferably one where/when they know how to party. And since this is Zaphod we’re talking about getting him to stick around for a while and party is not what you’d call difficult. I just make sure I know where my towel is and let the rest look after itself.

How about Arthur Dent? Isn’t Arthur dead and doesn’t that ruin the mood.

Didn’t I mention the time travel thing? You remember; Zaphod, Heart of Gold, time and space? So Trillian went back to before Arthur went to the nightclub and convinced him that he didn’t want to go to that party but another totally different party. Slartibartfast gave them the Bistromath which annoyed Zaphod no end and last I heard he was trying hard to adjust to a life where an attractive woman wanted to hang around with him and seriously entertain the idea of jointly propagating the species. I figure Trillian is propagating the hell out of him and he is doing his usual — walking around in his bathrobe with a dazed and confused look on his face while the universe tries hard to keep him from ever understanding. The man never knows how to either relax or drink sufficient quantities that he doesn’t care that the cosmos is probably out to get him and I have to say think it is. Out to get him that is. Given the nature of probability and existence I suspect they’ll turn up here any moment.

So what next for Ford Prefect?

Given that we just arrived there’s a party I have to go to then I figure I’ll continue my quest to get an Earth drinking establishment to accept an expired galactic credit card, hang around with Arthur and Trillian and get swept up in something totally out there by Zaphod. Pretty much business as usual except here on Earth, or at least here on Earth till the end of the cricket season.

Cricket season? Why the end of the cricket season?

Oh, the Australian’s are touring. Ashes you know.

Are you really interested in cricket?

God no, but Arthur always enjoys it and Lords when the English are playing the Australians is the only place in the entire continuum of time and space where he relaxes. Have you ever watched it? Nothing ever really happens and it continues to not happen for days. There was that one time when Arthur and I appeared in the middle of the pitch with our couch but when I brought it up as a possible alternative topic of conversation rather than the chance of an Australian batsman actually scoring Trillian gave me this really long and boring lecture about Arthur and her and something about mutual happiness and where she is entirely capable of sticking my towel so I’ve never done that again.

Well thank you for your time Ford. I hope you enjoy your visit.

No worries, always enjoy Earth. You keep it hoopy and hang on to your towel.

7 thoughts on “That Sassy Frood

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