Today’s Daily Prompt was “Take the third line of the last song you heard, make it your post title, and write for a maximum of 15 minutes. GO!” The last song I heard was ‘Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch’ by The Four Tops. (Do yourself a favour and go see those dance moves. Them and The Temptations are the slickest movers on a stage.)
It’s true, I can’t help myself. Not totally. It’s part of major depression that you are easily confused, find it hard to stick to a task and lack energy. That makes it hard to find and organise the care you need. You need care and help to fix your problems.
The peculiar thing is that managing to achieve something makes me feel better. I organised insurance for my scooter and went down to the Motor Registry and registered it and renewed my license. I felt such a sense of achievement my analyst was amazed.
So the Catch–22 is that by the time I manage to get myself together enough to find and organise the care I need doing all those tasks will have me well on the way of getting out of the hole of major depression but I won’t be able to do that until I’m well on the way to getting out of the hole.
I also feel a huge lack of care. It seems that nobody around me cares enough to follow through. I can’t help myself but nobody around me seems to be capable of helping either. They all seem too busy to worry about me. They seem too involved in their own life to care about me.
Major depression is a terrible disease. It takes your life and leaves you unable to take care of yourself. Major depression kills people, sometimes swiftly with suicide sometimes slowly by destroying your health.
I can’t help myself. I hope I can find others to help me.