Love ? I love love love you. (Photo credit: @Doug88888)
I recently saw an activity on Soul Pancake: Write a love story in 140 characters. So here it is:
Eyes across a restaurant table. Hearts interconnecting. Souls together. Life together, shared moments. Bodies intertwined. Forever Yours.
137 characters, including spaces and punctuation.
A photo of a group conducting psychotherapy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
A question came up on Soul Pancake: “Why can’t we let go of those memories which have brought nothing but suffering and pain?” This is an expanded and edited version of my answer there.
This is a question that interests me a great deal at the moment. I’m currently in analysis and I feel that one of the purposes of analysis is “letting go” of the past.
When we say letting go I don’t think it’s the memory itself but the burst of pain that comes with it that we need to let go. Memories will always fade with time, the problem is that some memories can actually hurt in the here and now – not just a memory of the pain of the moment but real, new pain.
That’s what we need to free ourselves from, the pain that remembering some things brings us.
So how do we do that?
Over the years I’ve read a great deal of psychology and some philosophy. I’ve also undergone therapy with psychiatrists and psychologists and taken part in a large amount of group therapy.
The most important lesson I’ve learnt is that “reality” is entirely subjective. It doesn’t matter what “really” happened or what someone else believes happened. To me (or you) the only thing that matters is how I remember it – that’s reality.
The second thing is we need to be understood. Back when we were small children we needed Mum to come and say “Let me look at your knee. That must have hurt, but it’ll get better.” When we grow up that need doesn’t go away. When we are hurt we need to be heard, we need to be understood. This is where therapy can be so useful, it provides a place where you can be understood.